Friday, September 26, 2003

Another run down. Ran 4.02 easy at 10:04. My legs were tired from yesterday. Whatever. Nothing earth-shattering... just a note.

So American Express called me because I have a suspicious activity on my card in the last day or so. Last month, there was a $150 charge that wasn't mine. They have credited me with it, of course. I checked online and there are a buncha charges to Amazon, and some personal ad, and artposters.com. These seem to be internet orders. They canceled my account, are sending me a new one, and told me to dispute the charges when I get my next statement. Thank goodness for American Express. So, someone got a hold of my card number and is having a field day with it. Too bad... they got caught. Last month it was someone named Dennis Parks. Not sure if he will get caught but they will prosecute, I know.

Tonight I am going to a dinner at Davios. Josh and Michelle invited us. Free food and free drinks. GAWD! Too bad I have to run tomorrow.

Happiness is finding out you did better than you thought. Find out that I might have run further and faster considering the headwind yesterday. Happy happy!

WOW! What day is it??

It's FRIDAY!!!! ACK!!!!!

It's also been a while since I blogged. Been getting serious on my training since Bar Harbor where I PR'd the course! If you want to know more about it, you can email it.

I have this whole Serious Training Schedule until the big race in January, the Rock 'n Roll Marathon in Arizona. I want to get another PR there and break 4:30. Not sure if I can. I've been running after work along the coast and boy, is it WINDY! I HATE WIND!!! Can I say that louder? I HATE WIND!!! Especially the headwind kind. I figure if I can run 10's into the wind, then I should be doing pretty well otherwise.

Yesterday I went out for a run after work. I was supposed to run 6 miles. I cut the course short because like the idiot that I am, I didn't look at the route map I had planned out! ARG! Now I have to go and see how short it was. So-Not-Happy!

2.95 x 2 = WHAT? ACK! 5.9 miles in 56:31? What is that pace? Wait! ACK! 9:35 pace? into HEADWIND?? Can't be right. Hmmm.... Shoot. Maybe I ran too fast. No wonder I pooped out. I have to pace myself better next time.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

My friend Amanda got lost in East Boston! GAH! What the hell was she doing in East Boston? What was she doing driving so close to there that she actually ended up IN there? What was she thinking? Wait. She wasn't thinking. Must have been listening to too many tunes. Either that or not enough Charbay. Sheesh!

Been there once on a guided tour and I've never been back... the armpit of Boston...What can I say???

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Workday Note and Running Stuff

I am hating my job again. Too much nit picky details. I think I should just manage a group but it seems that if you don't keep getting promoted, you have to move laterally or you're out. I hate that. There should be a way to remain where you are because you are good where you are. This is an insane environment. I was ready to get Wayne promoted and he was on the list from July. NOW they are telling me it's gonna be harder to sell. WHY? Why is it harder now that he is busting his ass than before when he wasn't busting his ass as much (although he was busting his ass then as well). This place is insane and it just gets crazier by the minute. Wayne is NOT going to be happy about this.

A run for what ails you...
I am at work.
Still.
But I did run and now I am back.
For another hour or so.
Give or take.
Feeling less toxic than before I left.
Back to the stack on the my desk.

Tomorrow I leave for Bar Harbor.
One of my favorite places on this earth.
Not sure why.
But it is.

4.85 miles into headwind.
In all directions.
- ran til the knee pain went away, ran til the foot pain went away, beat my mind at my own game…:o)

Gee. This is almost poetic. Whatever.

The Real Rest of the Story according to Joe

This is the rest of the story that makes it the WHOLE story. :o)

Joe's Story
Julia says:

And that’s the rest of the story…

Not even close.

Here is the start of the rest of the story.

September 13th was the day a year ago I told Julia I loved her. She asked me why and I gave her a list of reasons via email because my phone died. When Reach the Beach moved the dates of the race to September 12th and 13th I knew what I would do. I enlisted a friend to be a driver since I would need help in my plan. Abby agreed and became the first (and only) person to know for months.

I also knew that I was not going to do the traditional diamond thing, we had both been there and done that and Julia is sooo unique an individual I had to do something different. I decided on a Tahitian Black Pearl with diamonds on the side. Initially, I was thinking about doing it at midnight during the race in the middle of the New Hampshire Mountains. Eventually, I decided on the finish line plan. Since I am the captain I would be setting up the runners order. Connie helped me out by turning down the first leg then eventually dropping out. As the first leg I would be the first to pick up an extra leg at the end.

We lost some teammates including Cher (Julia’s partner in crime) who I desperately tried to convince to return this year but she said NO. I also tried MJ, her sister, and Sally Smith to join the team. All who wanted to know if and when we were going to get married. I tried to include you guys!!!

At one point it also looked like we would lose Harriet, but I couldn’t let that happen. Fortunately she changed her plans and came, had she said no I might have had to tell her to get her there. I even offered Julia’s friend Debbie a driving option only to find out she didn’t have a license!!

Then Abby (my partner in crime) couldn’t make the race do to a last minute problem. By this time I had included John Barney in the plan. He was going to drop out after his second leg, which would set me up to run the last leg. It was a safe plan because no one would get hurt and not be able to run their last leg. Although this was a problem on some teams, a person would need to be near death on our team to not run, Connie set that up last year when she threatened death on anyone planning on dropping out. Since this meant Michelle would not be the last leg I called her to tell her on Monday the entire plan. I told her she could tell Dave and he helped me burn a CD with the proposal, which included everything I told here a year ago and more. Everything was in place when I hid the ring in my bag (The bag Julia would use for hours as a pillow during the trip). At the start Dave told me he gave the CD to Heather and we were all set.

Even the weather looked perfect. Now all that was left was the race. I was the first leg by design to set up the last leg and due to the difficulty of the first leg. I figured if I could get to the top in 15 minutes then I could get down in 10. I told the team I would be back in 25 minutes or less. When the gun went off I tried to go slow. About 1/3rd of the way up we leave the road and head directly on a ski slope nothing but straight up to the top. I was in third place when we hit the trail but quickly moved to the front of the pack. I pushed as hard as I could up the hill. I knew that the first one over the top would be the first one to the bottom. After what seemed like an eternity I reached the top. I looked at my watch and it said 15.xx. I knew I would be down in less than 10 minutes. The downhill was very steep and fast. I was making good time and all of a sudden hit a patch of pavement (in the middle of the ski trail). It was too late to slow down and I
could feel my heels burning. I pushed on to the finish and handed off to Joan in first place on our wave. I was down in 6.43 (4.28 mpm pace). Overall it took 22.22, but a price had been paid. I took off my shoes and each heel had a piece of skin hanging loose about the size of a half dollar. Ut oh.

We rushed off to the next exchange point and Harriet and the on site medical staff patched me up as best they could at the following exchange. The medical person said so you are done right. NO I replied I have two more legs to go. Harriet said we’ll see how the next one goes, if there is bleeding…..

I stayed off my feet as best I could over the course of the next few hours and as Parker reported Harriet and Julia bought the Conway NH rite aid out of all blister supplies imaginable.

I was scheduled to run around 8 PM my second leg, so I had Harriet wrap me up good and tested out the legs. It hurt every step I took. I smiled and went off to the exchange point. My second leg was 3.8 miles mostly uphill. Michelle came in and handed me the bracelet and I took off running only on my toes to protect me heels. After about 2 miles I couldn’t do it anymore and was forced to let my heels touch the ground. I was in serious pain. I cursed the world. I asked WHY????? I knew I couldn’t go on. My third leg was 8.8 miles with steep uphill and downhill spots. I would never finish it. I was on the verge of tears but it hurt so much they would not come. I knew this was my last leg so I pushed as hard as I could getting three more roadkills and bringing my total to 9. I handed off to Joan and collapsed to the ground my feet and calves are throbbing. I know I am done, but still hold out hope against hope and say let’s see. I secretly check my feet and can see
that I bleed through new skin, moles skin the blister Band-Aid stuff and my socks. After a couple legs and support from my team it is decided. I am done. We tell Van Two and I tell John he HAS to finish. He understands.

We get some rest and I become the designated driver during the next rotation of legs. Eventually, we make the finish and are waiting around. I check in with Heather and find out the CD doesn’t work. It is probably best that I was unable to run the leg since I would not have been prepared to make an adjustment in the last 100 yards to the finish. After some discussion we decide I will just wing it. Julia gave you those highlights and now you have the whole story.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

The Proposal

Okay. Here it is. The Big Deal. The Event. The MAIN Event. The REST OF THE STORY!
Most of you know this. If you don't know it, then you are a random person who came across this site and is doing the vaoyeur thing.

Joe Proposed.
I accepted.
Life is good.
I am happy.

Now... the rest of the story.

It happened at the Reach the Beach race that I wrote about earlier.

IT's a 208 mile race across 24 hours. There are 12 people to a team. If someone drops out, you must stay in order. We each run 3 legs in rotation starting at Bretton Woods ski resort at the foot of Mt Washington to Hampton Beach - all through New Hampshire.

I was in Van 1 with Joe, Joan, Parker, I had the fourth leg (Cher’s old leg), Mike, and Kenny. Friday dawned to a beautiful day and the drive up with uneventful. Of course, Parker pointed out the rockslide that was The Old Man in the Mountain or whatever it was called (No… I didn’t know the name until recently. I still may not know it.)

This year, the race sold out the full complement of 200 slots. We started 20 minutes earlier than last year with Joe leading the charge, quite literally, up the mountain and back down, only to find that he had ripped the skin off of both of his heals. But let me say that for all of his efforts, he was the first one down in around 22 minutes. And they advertise this as the hardest 5k you will ever run. I was not only worried for Joe (who kept insisting that he had to run his next two legs with me arguing that he was doing no such thing), but for me because I knew that I would end up running Parker’s leg, which was strategically given to Parker because of the length and difficulty. After much anguish, I stopped complaining because I knew I had to suck it up and I didn’t want Joe to feel worse than he already did. So, I just settled down and contemplated my fate.

My first leg was 5.4 miles. Not bad. Nothing to report other than I was passed by everyone that Parker had passed. Then I handed off to Mike who proceeded to pass everyone who had passed me.

My second leg was run through the night. There was a lot of traffic on the roads this year because of there were so many teams but I was happy that there were stars and a full moon to run to. There were also other non-race-related sundry cars on the road and they were the ones I worried about. But a quick flick of my flashlight and they saw me and slowed down. I think this leg was around 5.6 miles. Hilly. Challenging. Not too bad but not too good and I wished I had trained this year.

My third leg was Parker’s. The hardest 8.9 miles I’ve ever run. Seriously. I can’t even begin to describe it. I ran the tangents as much as possible. I was doing well through 5.5 – running sub 10’s. At 6.1 I hit the biggest wall I’ve ever felt in my life. I have never felt anything like that. NEVER EVER! I ended up walking for about 8 minutes and all I could think of was Mike waiting for me at the finish. I managed to start slogging a little and by the time I hit the straightaway to the exchange point, I had gained momentum and was feeling better. Too bad it was only for another half mile. I did pass one person about 10 feet from the finish but she was way worse off than I was. I passed off to Mike and again, he proceeded to pass the 7 people who passed me. Yes. I counted the number of times I was roadkill. :o)

After Van 1 handed off to Van 2, we went and got burgers and beer at the Dam View restaurant. Later we found out that Van 2 saw out Van parked nearby so they knew were kicking back and eating. I knew we should have hidden the van! UGH! But that was the best burger and beer I’ve had in a while!

Afterwards, we headed to the Beach where we would settle in and wait for Joan and Geof to run into the finish. I was contemplating not running in with everyone because my legs felt as if they had been hit with baseball bats. But Joe kept insisting. Then he said that he would not be running in and that he would meet me at the finish line. I thought that was wise since I was worried about his heels.

Around the bend come Joan and Geof. We all jump in behind them and start to run. Of course they maintained their quick pace despite my attempts to slow them down by yelling SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN!!! So I just take off and keep up and pray that my legs don’t fall off.

I crossed the finish and there was Joe, waiting. He grabbed my hand and pulled me off to the side. He started talking and I didn’t know what he was saying. Something about how one year ago he told me he loved me… and all I could think was, “DAMN! It’s our anniversary and I FORGOT!!!” But he kept talking. I kept thinking that he was being sweet but then I wondered why because it was a RACE! LOL!

Then he raised a small blue box, opened it, and asked me if I would marry him.
All I could say was OMG OMG OMG! And he finally said, YOU DIDN”T ANSWER MY QUESTION! So I said, YES YES YES!! I cried I was so happy.

Then he told me the story behind the story!
Turns out that he had been planning this for 6 months. SIX MONTHS!!! ACK! And he had gotten some of the relayers involved – they had specific jobs. John Barney was going to get “hurt” and drop out so that Joe would have to run the last leg. Dave Anderson cut the CD with the proposal that was supposed to be playing as he cross the finish line. Mike was supposed to make sure that I paid attention when the CD started and make sure that I went through the finish line (I often threaten not to do something and those of you who know me that my mind is my own and you have to physically make me do something if I don’t feel inclined. Mike is bigger than me so Joe though he could get me to run across the finish even if I didn’t want to). The race director was involved from the beginning. The finish line people were expecting the CD and they were all set up.

What really happened: Joe couldn’t run after the second leg. Joan ended up running to the finish. As always, I threatened not to run through the finish with the team because I felt like I had been hit with baseball bats after running Parker’s leg!!! And the CD didn’t play – something went wrong with the CD playing system! ACK!! Joe was scrambling and redoing the details while I slept through the night in the front bench of the van – oblivious to the ensuing panic and subsequent reworking of the details across two vans, the start, and the finish line! ACK ACK ACK! I think I would have called off the whole thing! LOL! The race director was ready to give Joe the microphone. That wasn’t gonna happen!

So, in the end, he delivered the whole speech personally and he did a magnificent job. I didn’t think anything about it because he is typically sweet and sensitive (not sure if he wants the guys to the know that! LOLOL!) So what he was telling me was not atypical of what he might say in the first place. So I didn’t have a clue. Nothing was really out of the ordinary and in the end I was totally blown away.

The ring? For those who asked what it was, it’s a black Tahitian pearl with diamonds on either side set in platinum. It’s so beautiful! Very different. Of course we have to be different! LOL! He will get it engraved when it’s re-sized (it’s just a tad bit big) and he’s not telling me what it’s going to say. :o|

And the date? We have gotten a lot of suggestions, most of which are, of course, geared to your ability to make it! LOLOL!!!

We have talked about everything from the Crude Run in March (since that is when we became fast friends), to the Boston Marathon weekend (since this is what really brought us together but it’s highly unlikely given the venue), RTB Relay (having more people put together the teams and they have to run to the finish to get to the wedding - on the beach), The Dead World Conference in Boston if it's here but most likely NOT because it’s been done before by the Watanabes, Disney where very early on before we got together we talked about going and making it my target race. It will be INFORMAL! No church wedding, just a JP, or a minister, etc. We talked about a Clam Bake or a Pig Roast. We talked about making it personal by involving friends like using a minister that is somehow related to someone we know, having our friend Abby's brother Rogan cater (he's a chef at Mistrals in Boston which is an uber terrific restaurant and very swanky), having MJ’s cousin Lou do the flowers (just one simple bouquet that I can throw – probably with a running theme LOL! We are even talking about eloping with a big blow out party when we get back. Maybe even taking some of you with us to a remote island! LOL!

So, that’s it.
I have nothing else to say about this other than I am the happiest person in the world right now.

And that is the rest of the story….

Sunday, September 14, 2003

New things...

Everytime I sign onto Blog, there is something new. Hmm. There is a draft button on the side and I don't know what that does. I clicked on the change time & date and it brought up the time and date. Duh... But I wonder WHAT DOES IT DO?

The vortex stopped spinning this weekend. For a moment I was FOCUSED on nothing but a run. The Reach The Beach Relay was this weekend. I found out pretty quickly that my training has sucked this year so far and I need to get back on the wagon... Larry James BEAT me to the finish in the third relay by a minute or two and I STARTED BEFORE him! UH! That will NOT happen again! But then, it was the third leg and one that I was not prepared for. Of course, thanks to Harriet for pointing that out of me. Ugh.

The best new thing that stopped the vortex was Joe. He proposed. I accepted. What a surprise. What an awesome day. What a fantastic finish. I know there is a metaphor in there somewhere but I am too tired to think about it right now. Maybe through the week I will find it. The ring is beautiful and so different. Everything about this is different from the meeting to the question to the circumstances, where things just went wrong for him from the beginning. But behind all things there is a grand design. The CD which he had created didn't work. So Fate changed his plan from the first leg of the relay and we decided that this time, Fate's Finger was not so fickle after all.

Going to get some sleep.

Sleep sleep sleep......

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Spinning Out of Control

9/11. What can I say? It's on all of our minds. A beautiful morning just like then.

The vortex continues to spin. Last minute requests from the boss take precedence over the other requests which are mandatory. How f*cked up is that? Talked to Ninelle (aka Chicken Little, as I like to call her). She is feeling the same way and had a chat with the boss-man. We are so interrupted with such little nitpicky anal stuff from him - like doing the budget slightly differently in different forms 10 different ways, that we can't get the big initiatives done. The vortex is calling all of us... I am turning into the Borg...

I cleaned my office. I mean TOTALLY CLEANED OUT MY OFFICE! It's looking scary.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

The Vortex

Sometimes life is a spinning vortex. Like a whirlpool. Sometimes you just get stuck on the outside and other times you get closer to the black hole in the middle. Me? I've been going back and forth between the outside and the inside.

This weekend has been a whirlwind, which is why I haven't blogged in a while. Since Friday! YIKES!

We finally got tenants. YAHOO! She is a Georgetown Law grad and is interviewing with a small boutique litigation firm in Boston. He is finishing up he pre-req's, working part time at a vet office, and is headed toward Tufts Vet School next year. Good schoo. Quite a commute out to the suburbs. They came by on Saturday because they wanted to meet us, which is good since we are living together in this two unit house and it's important we don't end up hating each other. Turned out we all got along famously and it would have shown even more if HIS mother didn't come along. CAN YOU SAY SNOB? Long nails, the tan, made a point to tell us what her husband did, that she's been in interior design for 20 years, blah blah blah. She was nitpicking and criticising everything. At one point we got up to the roofdeck and all she could say was that the railing was creaky. Uh... YAH! It's a ROOFDECK! HE loved the roofdeck and you could tell he was SO EXCITED over it. Anyway, he ignored her. At one point, Sarah Ann (his name is Jonathan and the mother's name is MAXINE! Ugh. Go figure.) started talking and the M-i-l cut in and you could tell Sarah Ann was biting her tongue. They are living with the mother now. No wonder they want to move out of there. UGH! Anyway, the broker dropped the lease and a check for first and security.

Joe opened up a joint account for us yesterday and deposited the money. They are moving in October 1st.

Last night I could not sleep. I got up several times and just layed there thinking about the house and the stuff that we have to do with our place. NEW STRESS! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least the upstairs is rented... that was half of it. Needless to say, I am tired this morning and it will be another long day at work. The whole staff from remote sites is onsite and so is the India people. So needless to say, I am attending meetings galore and I am totally tripled booked with meetings and events going into the evening. On top of that my left foot is hurting and I have Reach the Beach this weekend (207 mile relay through New Hampshire with a team of 12 people for those who are wondering).

Anyway, Saturday morning, we had Dim Sum at Chow Chau City with Amanda, Tiffany, Linda, and a new friend, Kate. She is half Korean and was adopted by Americans. Of course I grilled her as is my way. Turns out she was in Atlanta for 8 years prior as a graphic designer and is now here looking for work. I hope she finds something because she was nice and I liked her and wouldn't mind having her stick around. Then we went to Amanda's new loft where she had to measure. Cool place. Turns out that JLo and Ben Affleck bought in the same building up on the 6th floor. I mean in SOUTHIE??? But that's where he's fronm. I can't imagine JLo agreeing to it since it doesn't seem to be hardly pretentious enough for her. But maybe she remembers her roots too before she became the famous Bubble Butt.

Saturday night, Jo and Luke went to dinner and the Bruce Springsteen concert at Fenway. What an awesome time. Never saw him in concert before and this concert was everything people had told me it would be and more. 2 hours of non stop playing, then an hour and 15 minute encore. There was an 11pm curfew and he only went over by about 20 minutes. LOL!

Sunday we spent the day looking for carpets. ARGH! How frustrating is this? We need to get the bedroom floor recarpeted before the tenants move in. Finally, we went to one of the Home Depots and found one we liked and one they could have in before Oct 1. The timing was a real issue. Everything takes 4-6 weeks! What is that all about??

Yesterday, I took the group to Jasper White's Summer Shack. Had a great time! The food was excellent and I availed myself to a Guiness to wash it all down with.

Tonight we were supposed to go see IMAX at the Aquarium and then to the North End for dinner. But I have another stupid meeting so I have to skip IMAX and meet them at the restaurant.

ARG! Skipping Imax! But I am meeting the gang for dinner at Piccolo Venezia at 6pm for dinner. Jawahar, who set this up, was so upset because I couldn't make IMAX! But I promised I'd be there for dinner. I hate my job sometimes. It gets in the way of important things like tending to my group and making sure they are happy and nurturing them along.

News Flash!!! Turns out my boss is heading up the Linux effort across all of my division, and he thinks this will carry forth throughout the enterprise. The email announcement said to welcome him into his NEW role as opposed to his ADDITIONAL responsibilities. Around here you have to look at how things are phrased and this phrase is way suspicious. I wonder that this means - is he moving on? If so who will manage us? Another manager called with the same feeling and I am trying to find out the scoop under the covers. Either way, if he is in charge of Linux, my ass is grass. UGH! We will have to step on the certification of this, GAH!

Maybe I won't be hating my jov for too much longer. We'll see. If not, well, at least he still likes me and maybe this is will take more of the focus off of me and my group. That is happiness all the way around!

Friday, September 05, 2003

Testing
Oooooh! It worked. I have no idea how to spell HTML and I am actually using this. Asked someone on my staff about italics. I love my staff. They are so SMART!

Ahhh.... There is nothing like a slice of pepperoni pizza as a fall back.
I also ended up with a small cup of clam chowder. They do soups well there.
The pizza is a store-bought crust but they everything else there right on site.
While it's not the most authentic or the best, it's decent and definitely better than the stuffed pepper.
I also steered someone away from it while getting soup. The soup station is right next to the Theme Cuisine section. The stuffed peppers are Theme Cuisine for the day. The Theme is "Bad variations of good traditional comfort Foods."

Will I NEVER learn??? The cafeteria downstairs is SO BAD! I got stuffed peppers. It looked different. And it is. Yuk. It is stuff with rice, coconut, carmelized onions, and some orange veggie that imparts a sweet flavor. What is THIS??? I should have stuck with pizza. That is the only thing they do down that there is halfway decent - other than the cut up fruit - the melons are my favorite. I guess this is their attempt at "gourmet." Where is the tomato sauce? Where it the 15% lean hamburger?? And where is the ketchup on top? As it is, I got the mixed veggies (Carrots, corn, peas) from a bag along with it, which doesn't do much to redeem the whole thing. UGH! I'll just throw this out and get the pizza.

PISS!!! ARG!!! Everytime I post and publish, the damn blog site keeps throwing me out and making me sign in again which means I have just LOST EVERYTHING I WROTE!!! WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT??? HELLOOOOOO????

What I was TRYING TO SAY before I was rudely interrupted by Blogger is I finally received the court order for my divorce and name change. Thank goodness. Now I can change my name on the passport, license, bank account, SSN... all the important stuff. My bank (Eastern Bank) wouldn't change my name without the final judgment even when I showed them the interim docket and conclusion. I mean who do they think they are? My BROKERAGE account let me change my name. Sheesh. Anyway, these are the pain items. You have to send them paperwork, and they send it back and it all takes a few weeks or months for each thing to happen, etc. I have discovered it is easier to change your name as a result of marriage than is it as a result of divorce. When you are married, everyone bows to you and hurries to change your name like you've joined some secret cult club or something. When you request to have a name change as a result of divorce, their attitude is different! They sort of sniff and then they say something about needing EVIDENCE! HELLO!!! I just GOT RID OF THIS GUY! I'd like to GET RID OF HIS STUPID NAME, TOO!!!! Ugh. I hate people. So annoying.

A Glorious Day

Talk about a weight lifting off of my shoulders.
drum roll please....
Last night I finished painting! YES!
Now I can move on to the regular business of getting clothes ready for storage and the fall rotation.
This morning I was up and didn't dread the day before me.
Even work was bearable.

I have just realized that I can handle one source of stress at a time, not two.
When I was stressed out before, aka BH, I had two sources of stress - work and life with BH.
Since I could handle only one source of stress, I checked out of the other stress by traveling for work and going to NYC as often as possible. I had to concentrate on work - that is my livelihood, after all. But i withdrew, retreated, checked out, whatever you want to call it, from life with BH because that is how I handle stress. I withdraw or I leave the room. Or go for three hours massages three times a week spending hundreds of dollars, amounting to thousands a year om massages. [Note: since leaving BH, I haven't gone to maybe three or four massages? Go figure.] I get real quiet. If you see me screaming and yelling and waving my arms about, you can be assured that I am not pissed off or that I am not stressed. But if I get quiet and don't want to be bothered, you KNOW that I am pissed off or stressed out. And you can't make it snap out of it because then I start screaming and crying, which is how I release stress.

Nope. It's not pretty.

Anyway, getting the rental ready and the time pressure I felt was a vast well of stress for me. I didn't realize this until the stress lifted by my finishing all of the painting. Just have to glue the sink to the wall and get a toilet paper roll holder and put that up.

I am so happy! UGH! No one should be this happy right now. Happy Happy Happy!!!


Thursday, September 04, 2003

Almost Time for the Exodus

Or at least for me to go home... it's almost 5:30. Need to catch the 5:40.
So much for getting out of here early.
I had Thai for lunch.
Ate a lot so that I don't have to have a lot of dinner, since I am going to be painting and all.

I am doing budget.
How Many different budget presentations can a person do?
I think this is my 6th different variation, and probably my 5th "version" if you count them altogether.
And people wonder why my projects are slow to deliver?
Because I spend the whole day doing STUPID THINGS LIKE THE BUDGET OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
And PRESENTATIONS to the SAME 5 PEOPLE, in 10 DIFFERENT WAYS.
And SIT IN MEETINGS ALL DAY!!!

I want to KILL SOMEONE!
Or at least scratch their eyes out.
Poking needles in my eye would be less painful!!!

I hate my job.
I better get a damn promotion so I can leave.
UGH!

Fat Jeans

Doesn't everyone have a pair?
I climbed into them this morning thinking I must do something about these last 7 pounds! UGH!
It was rainy.
Doggie did not want to go out.
I dragged her upstairs and she said in the entry.
Would not move. You couldn't budge her with a crowbar.

Joe left of Nantucket early this morning to play golf.
It's RAINING OUT THERE! Sheesh.
He has an hour and a half drive to Hyannis.
Then an hour and a half ferry ride.
In large swells.
In torrential rain with chances of thunder.
Which means that Lightning is nearby.

Joe left.
I made bacon and french toast for breakfast this morning.
I love my french toast.
I let the bread soak up the egg real good.
About 1 egg per slice of bread.
When you flip it, the whole thing swells from all that egg in the bread expanding.
I find this to be my perfect breakfast.
It has carbs and protein.
And it holds me over until noon.
I hate getting hungry in the morning.
GAH! I hate having to get up out of my chair and then going around scrounging for something, not finding it and then resorting to candy or junk food.

My boss emailed his staff at 7am this morning telling us he wants something by 11am.
First of all, what the hell is he doing sending email at 7am?
And did he forget we have a meeting from 9:30-11 this morning?
And it's due at 11??
If the meeting had not been moved back to 9:30 from the original and usual 9am start, we'd have a half hour less to work on his request. As it is, we have to redo our entire freakin' schedule to accommodate this.
And this is how I spend my days.

This is going to be a full weekend and I am looking forward to it.
Friday night, we are meeting Abby for dinner at the Algonquin Club. The Friday night Seafood Buffet is starting up again after the summer hiatus.
Saturday, we have Bruce Springsteen. PSCYHED!
Dimsum on Sunday.
Maybe Hope's New Deck part in Nahant afterwards in Sunday.
This means I must finish the last of the painting tonight and Saturday between my long run and Springsteen! YIKES!!!
If something has to give, it will have to be the Deck Party.

Running Note: This is the third day in a row that I haven't run. It's a streak. I am thinking of getting myself to the gym tomorrow to run on the treadmill. Not sure if I will be able to stand that but I have to do something. Mornings have been too hard for me lately, with the late nights painting, etc. I'll have to think up some new strategy while I am working on my boss's request.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Ending Note

Okay. I don't usually blog at night but I got to the house and Joe had been there painting all afternoon. How sweet is that? I helped him out and we got all the walls painted. Just one little section left, the bannisters and trim and then the painting is all done. This, I can do on Saturday. Before the Springsteen concert. At Fenway. PSCYHED!

Been reading blogs.
My friends are all a buncha crack pots.
Where did I find them??
ACK!
MJ is the only one who doesn't blog regularly.
What's up with that?
it's good therapy.

I worry about Amanda and her food thing.
She eats alot.
I don't get how she stays so damn thin.
If I didn't like her so much, I'd really dislike her.

Got home late.
Another leftover kinda night.
And a glass of Seghesio Home Ranch.

Tomorrow, I get to walk doggie.
If she shits on my legs again, I'll have her for dinner.
Otherwise, I am thinking pasta with Joe's wonderfully awesome meat sauce.
And another wonderful fresh bottle of wine.
I am thinking about which one I will avail myself of....
I am not really a food person.
For me it's a pain to eat.
No, I am not thin. You'd think I was, based on that last remark. Whatever.
And if I am not hungry, I just quit eating.
But Joe's sauce? I sit at the table and wish I had room for one more spoonful.
Of course he has all these rules about sauce.
How it's made, what ingredients go with what, etc.
It gets complicated.
If you're not Italian, you don't get it.
Needless to say, I don't get it.
But then, Joe's not Italian either.

Okay. Gotta go.

Where does the time go?

It's almost 11:30 and I am wondering where the time goes.
I sat in a two hour meeting this morning with people from India.
They are innovative, bright, creative, eager, bright, and so damn agreeable.
Everything you need to be successful in today's fast move and dynamic world of business requirements, mission statements, and time to market. Everything you need to be sure that you will beat the outsourcers at their own game and become better than them. So, Offshoring is here to stay.

Yesterday after work, I had one plan:
1) Go home early
2) eat a quick dinner
3) take the dog to the house
4) paint

I wanted to get the whole ceiling painted.
Joe was going to track so my turn to take care of the doggie.
It was going to be a good night.

Got home, and had a message on the phone from Home Depot. The template that we had given them two weeks ago was not exact so can we please provide a new one. Joe comes home and one thing after another... and my evening's plans changed.

1) got home
2) ate a little dinner
3) went to Home Depot and picked up the template.
4) dropped off the template at the house and could not find a parking spot nearby so
5) get back in the car and go and park the car (difficult due to street cleaning the 1st Wed of the month)
6) go back to the Joe's apartment and get the Miata keys (so I could move that car later into the parking spot because of the aforementioned streetcleaning)
6) take the dog on her walk so that she can pee and poop.
7) dog pees (many times!!! sigh...)
8) dog poops. She cannot get it all off of her so she flings herself around and her poop goes flinging across to my leg, socks, tops of my shoe and the front "bumper" end of my shoe
9) take doggie back to the house
10) try to get the doggie clean (who refuses)
11) wash leg, socks, shoes, change, disinfect myself etc...
12) leave the doggie at the house because I don't want the car to be messed up.
13) go to the Miata, get in the car, try to unlock the Club and can't because I brought the wrong keyring
14) walk to the house... stopping off at Laskers to get some Hostess Chocolate Cup Cakes because an incredible chocolate craving had come over me...arriving around 7:45pm, which is almost 2 hours later than I had originally planned, and thinking I would be painting until midnight, managing to keep calm and keep my spirits up. After all, I like to paint, the quiet and the calmness I feel is almost meditative and the ensuing feeling of accomplishment is deeply satisfying.

I walk up the stairs and hear noises.
Joe is there painting the ceiling.
He skipped track.
He came to paint instead.
I had to go to Home Depot so he came to paint.

He said I was more important than track and gave me a hug.
I cried.
Everything I needed was in that hug and seeing him standing there, reaching up to paint that ceiling.

Then we painted together a little bit.

We went home and shared the Hostess Cup Cakes afterwards.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Okay. It's 3:36pm and I am bored and tired and sleepy.
Nothing interesting is going on but the weather seems to have cleared up.
His work tech group needs to get a life, get replaced, or something.
Joe had to have his whole computer imploded and then reloaded! GAH!
I told him I'd rather eat liver than have to start from scratch.
And I would rather STARVE than eat liver.
I do not do innards! UGH!

I am thinking of calling in the maintenance guys to put up my marathon poster in my office.
I have them behind me leaning against the wall up above my shelves.
I can't close the shelf doors because if I do, the posters are in frames and they will slide off.
I am thinking of having the maintenance guys come in a put in hooks.
Thinking thinking thinking....

R is for Rain

If it were Monday, I'd be down and we'd have a song.

The best time to Blog is while sitting on a phone conference call.
You put your end on Mute and while the other end blathers on and on, you blog with wild abandon.
The only problem is you must follow the conversation somewhat in case they call on you.
Then you just say, "I'm sorry, can you please repeat that? Someone had just walked into my office."
Then you agree with them.
That cuts them off.

It was a very busy weekend.
Saturday, I went for a run along the Charles again. 7.92 miles.
It might have been shorter but still ran sub 9's.

Sunday, I ran my long run but am not sure how long it was.
I need to go home and clock the mileage on my DeLorme mapping software.

Joe finished the stairs and they are a beaut!
They look so good and I am so happy!
I just have to finish painting.
We have some small items on the punch list.
And we must wait for the custom corner counter and the washer/dryer before I can say that the rental is complete.
But it's almost ready to rent.
I have less stress but am more impatient to get it all done.

Darnest thing.
The histamine in my body had an outrageous party and they decided to come out at once.
I had some major chafing and from lack of sleep the night before, coupled with the stress of work and the tiredness from the long run, etc., the areas I chafed turned into some major hives. Of course, I had to take antihistamine and I was totally exhausted. I am feeling much better right now.

Went to see the Deautsche Bank Classic at the TPC in Norton.
Saw Tiger Woods up close and personal.
He is taller than I had imagined but he looks just the same as he does on TV.
It's an amazing thing. Some people look really different but Tiger looks the same.
They say he has a blond girlfriend. Figures.