Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Rest in Peace, Shelton Kang

...a large void was created today......a large void was created today...
How will it ever be filled?

On of my most best friends in the world, lost her big brother to cardiac arrest today. He passed away this afternoon in her living room in Hartsdale, NY.

They were getting ready to go on vacation, and she heard him downstairs making unusual sounds. She went down and he was on the floor. She administered CPR and managed to call EMS while doing so. EMS worked on him for about 23 minutes, and pronounced him dead.

She plans to have him cremated and will take him to his home in Columbus and to his beloved wife, who passed away several years ago from ovarian cancer. I said I would be done this weekend and she said no. She'd rather I be there when we come together to celebrate his life and pay tribute to one of the happiest people we knew. One of her friends from NYC was going to be there soon and another friend from Maryland was driving up...she would be okay. But she might be on our doorstep... "if you look out your front door and see this poor sad bedraggled Chinese woman, it'll be me..." She can move in. I will tell her that.

Her brother Shelton was a happy person. He was probably the happiest person I knew. I guess I still know him... My fondest memories of him making me irritable with his long monologues about this and the other, knowing all the while I was getting more impatient, and laughing louder and louder about it. And then telling me that he loves to make me irritated.

He was also one of the kindest people I know. He had recently sent me complete recordings of the first and second season of 24, just because I had mentioned in passing a month ago that I would be renting it from Netflix.

He was the big brother I never had and I have to thank Harriet for introducing him to me. She is, after all, the big sister I never had.

Shelton would want us to be happy for him. Living with congestive heart failure, he once told me that he had far surpassed his time here on earth, and every additional second he stood breathing and living was a gift.

Harriet reminded me that Shelton would want us to be happy for him. To celebrate his life and his wonder - one of the smartest people I know who still maintained the innocence of wonder at things that happened over and over gain. He once told me that life always amazed him, that people always amazed him. That things changed so quickly but it was all so much the same. And that people never changed. :o)) Shelton would want us to laugh and be happy. And if we can do that when we think of him, he will live immortal in our smiles and our aughter.
I will miss you, Shelton Kang.
...As we wave farewell from our shore, your shadow grows fainter.
But on the other side, there will be shouts of joy from those who are watching for your approach...

Keep paradise warm for us. And when we meet we will laugh together once more.
Rest in peace, my friend, rest in peace.

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Blogger Abby said...

I am so sorry to hear this. i will say my grandmothers funeral i said the same thing:

...As we wave farewell from our shore, your shadow grows fainter.
But on the other side, there will be shouts of joy from those who are watching for your approach...

hold on to that thought because its such a happy idea...death is less scar knowing such things

11:08 PM  
Blogger Mel said...

Oh, Shelton is going to be missed! I don't believe that death is an end, and I know he has been reunited with Linda, but, as you've said, there's a definite void. It won't be the same on even the rare occasions I could get together with the Columbus folks if Shelton isn't there. He was, indeed, intelligent, kind and happy as a child. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings so well, Julia.

6:50 AM  
Blogger Paul said...

I send you condolences. I know that losing great friends is as hard as losing family. I'll pray for you and your friend's family.

9:00 AM  

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