Holiday Rant

For me, holiday spirit is holiday stress.

I finally realized it today because I've eaten nothing but one bowl of rice and a bowl of soup.
All Day.
And I do not eat when I am stressed.
And when I do not eat, I can't be anything other than be alone.
Why?
Because I am a crab.
Because I am too tired and irritated and hungry to interact with human kind.
That's why.
This brings back vestages of years past when I would lose 10-15 pounds or more between Thanksgiving and New Years because of Holiday Stress and an (ex-)husband who thought a wife was cook, replacement socializer, and gift buyer for his mercenary commercial family.
Since I met Joseph, it's been sooooo wonderful. Too wonderful to describe because his family is the exact opposite. In fact, this year, we are all RE-GIFTING! And giving away things that are in our homes already! You can't imagine all the things you have tucked and stored away that you never think about or even knew you had until a project like this comes along.

But this year, the stress is creeping back.
This year, the holidays are fast upon us.
Work is a bear. And I mean, A BEAR!. It has not stopped.
Reorg after reorg, new management, lay offs, and more lay offs to come.
New systems and processes, people and groups moving from one group to another. The budget, budget cuts, rework - and LOTS OF IT!, reviews, and a new way to rate people which makes about 50% of the population either unhappy or totally underwhelmed. And then there is end of year travel. Which coincides with Thanksgiving travel, which it did this year. And a lackluster admin assistant who helped in causing me to go through 6 cities and 5 airports in 2 weeks. After which I immediately got sick from exhastion.
And then there is regular work on top of that.

And life goes on, right?
Well, let's see.

I am sick. Not feeling too good. Tonight we were supposed to go a dinner that got canceled. Thank goodness. I love Josh and I want to meet his girlfriend. We haven't spent time with him in a year. A YEAR! Imagine? But there is a blizzard outside as I type this. And I have a major migraine setting in.

Tomorrow, I have to make pecan rolls, go to the store to pick up ice cream, go pick up the pies, go to Chinese class, go to a dinner of running friends, have everyone over to the house for dessert, etc. I still have to do the grocery list, go to the grocery story, finish the menu, make the schedule of what to cook when, and then it's MONDAY and back to WORK!

I have Christmas Dinner. Then two days later, the Family Christmas Dinner for 18 people. Luckily I do love to cook and I do love the people who will be there - Joe's family. ALL OF THEM! My good friends Harriet and Debbie. They are MY family. And Harriet will bring Liz, who I haven't seen in over a year. So it will be mayhem but this is a dinner I am looking forward to. I just need people to leave me in my domain (the kitchen), not ask if I need any help (I don't and I never do), and NOT talk to me while I am in my cooking heaven.

Then it's New years Eve and I have to order the Lobsters and plan out a menu. And you can't just get lobster at any ole time. It doesn't magically appear. You have to go and PICK IT UP! But first, you have to ORDER IT and make sure they package what you want ahead of time!

Anyway, I enjoy days here and there. I enjoy the cooking. I do not enjoy the planning, the buying, the shopping. I certainly do not enjoy everyone being chipper and being inordinately nicer than usual. I mean, what happened to the REST of the year???

Thank God for Joseph. He got the wreath and the tree. Put the lights on the tree and put the wreath on the door. We try to keep it simple. There is beauty in a simple green unadorned wreath and a tree with just sparkling lights. It must have been like that in the early days when we didn't festoon everything with tinsel and plastic, glass balls and ribbons.

Well... tomorrow is another day. If this headache ever goes away, I might be a happier person.

Hmmm... Maybe I should cancel Chinese class....