Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Classic Study in Ball Park Drunks

When you're a Yankee Fan in Red Sox Nation, you need to know how to keep a low profile. And this means that you can wear subdued Yankee gear but never to the ball park.

And when you go to a ball game, you never wear your team's colors. You learn to keep a straight face, don't cheer too loudly and keep your head down. Always. Especially if your consider how schizophrenic and ugly Red Sox fans can be.

And there are always drunks half way through the game that sit close to you. There are the nice drunks who get nicer. And then there are the ugly ones who get uglier as the game goes on. Doesn't matter if their team is winning or losing. They look around and find someone in the crowd and become annoyingly loud and rude. And that's pretty difficult at a ball game where everyone is screaming their heads off cheering for their team!

There are always words that turn to gestures and shouts. And the real measure of a drunk is when he turns his taunts and anger to a different set of people than the one he was originally yelling at. And all without a clue, in total ignorance and utter conviction of absolute rightness.

It's a classic study. There is a moment of crescendo, when they can't get worse. You just sit hopuing they don't turn around and just lash out at anyone within arm's reach. Then they start to sober up a bit, realize that they've been an ass, then they start trying to befriend everyone else around them that they hadn't targeted. Most people just smile indifferently, with no intention of reciprocating, having already labled the guy as an ass about few hours earlier.

And so it goes. Another ball park, another asshole sitting in my vicinity making a further ass of Red Sox Nation. And they wonder why Red Sox fans have such a bad rep.



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