Thursday, November 04, 2010


The other night I dreamt about bugs. There was a leaf like bug, a stick like bug and a group of 5 little round beetles all stuck together in a long row.

I remember picking them up and sticking them to my left hand. And then my sister (I think?) and I walked hurriedly to I have no idea where. I remember that there were a lot of people and a lot of commotion. And the building we arrived at looked like a school, with a blue metal door and side lights. Typical school doors, I think. And it was night.

And I remember sitting on the grass because of the bugs and I knelt down. The leaf bug and the stick bug fell off. I knew they had died or were dying. The group of five still hung on. Then 2 loosened and fell off. Then there were three. They were stuck to my ring finger, over the knuckles. And they kept tightening. And it started to hurt. So I told my sister that I had to get them off because it hurt. She said just leave it. But I insisted. I used an envelope to scrape the first one off. Then my sister handed me a thin plastic ruler, the kind I have in my office at home and wondered what I should do with them, and scraped the next one off. And then she handed me a new ruler and scraped the last one off.

My ring finger was red, dry, and patchy but I knew it would heal. My sister said "let go." And I got up and we ran off. I don't know to where because I woke up.

I looked up bugs. They are anxiety, worry, things that you are afraid of. There are different meanings behind distinct types of bugs but I couldn't find the leaf bug or the stick bug. I did find the beetle but it wasn't really. So I found scarabs and they weren't really that either. They were a combination. Sort of like black lady bugs but not really.

So I thought at first it was a centipede that turned into individual little bugs on close examination. And I read that centipedes mean that I am letting my fears and doubts hinder my from making progress and achieving my goals. This is interesting because Joseph said that I am afraid of everything and have to feel that I am perfect all of the time. There is definite truth to this. I need to stop thinking negative thoughts.

There was nothing for beetles but I found something about ticks which said that they mean that something, someone, my job or even myself is slowly draining the life out of me. But these things were bigger than ticks, almost the size of dimes.

So I went top Scarabs, and I found means that I have the ability to survive, adapt and change. And that I am on the right path. But these bugs were not the same as the scarabs, they were smaller, round, hard shelled, and had little skinny legs that poked out of the side. A type of indistinguishable beetle stuck together like a centipede one attached to another. Sort of like those black lady bugs (which we know symbolizes good luck). If you extrapolate that out, it’s about something draining me and my letting my fears run me but there is hope and good luck and the fact that I was able get rid of the bugs, which I put on myself willingly, and then forcefully ridding myself of them seems to be a good sign.

I also looked up the meaning of it being nighttime in the dream. And it stated that it can represent the unconscious side of the personality. And also symbolize ignorance and despair of the dark night of the soul. Psychologically the process of “becoming” requires us to sometimes enter the darkness before emerging into the light.

Hmmm. I guess that about says it all.

I am in the process of becoming. Shedding the old fears and anxieties that are slowly draining the life out of me. I willingly became fearful and angry, and now I am willingly shedding it all. It was dusk in the dream - night had just fallen so I know I will enter a darker period before I emerge into the light of being. This dream makes me feel stronger, gives me courage, and makes me want to cry with hope.

It is time for me to wake up and become truly human.

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